Forgiving the Unforgivable

The question everyone wants to know:

Is there EVER an instance in which it is okay to forgive your scummy, cheating partner?

The answer?

Absolutely.

Can cheaters turn over a new leaf?

Everybody is capable of change.  Absolutely everybody.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

However, not everyone is willing to change.  This is where the real work comes into play here.  You have to decide whether or not your partner is honestly willing to commit after their act of infidelity.  Sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren't.

You should be the person who knows them best, so it shouldn't be that hard to decide whether or not they're changeable; and it should be easy to determine whether or not they're lying when they say they're willing to change for you... and if you're NOT the pereson who know them best, then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship in the first place.

Unfortunately, sometimes, even after you have decided that they are capable of change, it's impossible for you to forgive.  Cheating is one of the hardest acts to forgive.  It's a breech of trust.  After working hard to build up that trust, it can be impossible to get back.

But remember, it make to a big person to forgive, but it takes an idiotic one to forget; so if you do decide to take them back, remember what they put you through...

And give them a little hell (or a lot) to make up for it.

The Arguments

Relationships are great... but not always.  Sometimes they're just okay; and sometimes they're downright horrible. 

But honestly, would you want a relationship that was PERFECT all of the time?  If your relationship was just super fabulous 100% of the time, wouldn't that get boring after awhile?

Sometimes you want to vent and sometimes you just want someone to pick a fight with.  Sometimes their annoying habits get under your skin and sometimes you get tired of them not picking up after themselves.  Sometimes you catch them checking out a girl's ass and sometimes he breaks curfew.  Sometimes she spends too much on a set of gaudy fake nails and sometimes she wants to watch soaps all day.

Sometimes you're just going to annoy the piss out of each other; and if you want to make it work, you're going to have to learn to deal with that.  Plain and simple.

Relationships nowadays are like a priceless ming vase nestled on the edge of a 50 foot ledge on a windy day: more fragile than we'd hope and constantly on the verge of destruction.

Understanding that is the first step to making a relationship work.

So it all comes down to this one fact: you're going to argue.  If you're not arguing, then there's an underlying issue there.  You're probably not talking things out like you should.  If something bothers you about your significant other, then TELL them.  It's better to let them know now than let it fester.  10 years down the line, you'll thank yourself, because you'll get along a hell of a lot better than the couples who didn't talk things out.

NOBODY gets along perfectly all of the time.  Some couples argue less than others, but ALL couples do argue... even if they're not willing to admit it; and some aren't, but that's their problem, not yours.

Smile and enjoy the arguments.  They're good for you as a couple.